Everyone deserves to show themselves love and daily rituals are one of the most practical and best ways to do so. While some may think of a day at the spa getting a massage or their nails done as "loving themselves", that sounds like hell to me, so I go about loving myself a bit differently. Of course, this is as unique as everyone of us, so my ideas are things that I enjoy, but I do hope that my ideas get your own wheels turning as you perhaps compile a list of things that you can implement into your daily life to love yourself a little bit more. (If you journal, this would make for a fun journaling afternoon!)
1. a calming morning rhythm
All of my life, in our home, we've made it a MUST that our mornings are slow and calm and easy. We avoid schedules and time frames as much as we can, only engaging in such things when we simply cannot avoid them. Our mornings and start of the day are slow and gentle. We do not rush to begin our day, nor do we get dressed as soon as our feet hit the floor. In our home, we cannot get going full speed ahead as soon as our eyes open. I think it's important, even if you do have to be on a more scheduled routine, to make your mornings and start of the day as calm and gentle as possible. Wake up earlier if you need to so you can slowly wake up in bed for ten minutes or so before getting ready for the day. Whatever it means for you, I think gentle mornings really set the tone for the entire day ahead.
Also another huge thing for me is making sure that the alarm I wake up to isn't going to jolt me awake. I can't stand the blare and siren-like sound of a normal alarm, so I use a soothing instrumental piece and it wakes me up in a calm manner. Those blaring noises make me wake up on the wrong side of the bed and set me in the wrong mood for the whole day and really make me feel anxious and uptight, but a soothing piece of music is quite a lovely way to wake up.
2. a peaceful bedtime rhythm
Sleep has been something I've struggled with since I was very young. I don't have a magic potion for making one sleep like a baby...I'm quite jealous of folks who can do such a thing. And most nights, sleep is something my body struggles with, but I do have a few things that help me. Every night, I spend some time before bed doing something calming, whether it be reading a novel or a calming magazine, watching an episode of a show I love, or even sometimes writing in my journals, I make sure that I end my day with something light, pleasant and gentle (the most important word, perhaps, when it comes to loving yourself). I go through phases of having a cup of tea before bed, too, which is really something I should get better at. Keeping lights low and using low wattage bulbs makes for an atmosphere that invites sleepiness to take over. I always make sure to have a nighttime or calming essential oil blend going in my diffuser and keep my salt lamp on because I do like a tad bit of light in the dark. Then, I avoid my phone because it really wakes me up. I don't have anything that works for me 100%, but these things do make a difference. (I also use my oils every night, but more on that below.)
3. slow showers or baths
I mentioned in a post once before that if there was a way to get clean without having to take a shower, I'd be totally down for it. I hate water and getting wet. It's just terrible. Ha! But I like being clean and so showers are a must. And so I figure I might as well make it a pleasant experience. Baths do not sound at all appealing to me, quite the opposite, actually, so showers it is. I make it a point not to rush when I am in the shower or once I get out either. I take my time and breathe deeply. I use soaps and such that are healthy for my skin and enjoy their lovely scent. And I do love a hot, steamy shower...no cold water for this gal. When I am getting dressed, I will often use a wonderful product called "goop" by a company called "All Good" and give my feet a massage...this stuff works wonders on dry skin in the colder weather, and on sunburn, too. I apply essential oils and braid my hair for bed. (I do love nighttime showers right before bed; I can never understand the enjoyment of a morning shower.) And I make sure to put on comfy pajamas that feel good on my skin. So even though showers are not my most favorite thing on the planet, it becomes a pleasant experience and I am loving myself through the process, too.
4. essential oil rituals
Essential oils have been part of my life for several years now, but it's only been in the last year or so that I've finally found the oils that work for me. I have a few roller bottles that I have made, and I use them for different purposes on various parts of my body. I have a calming blend that I made myself with geranium, lavender and rosemary oils that I apply to my forearm and wrist area as well as over my heart. I also use a calming blend that I apply to my neck. And I use a straight up lavender and coconut oil roller on parts of my body that tend to stay tense. This girl here deals with tension and anxiety regularly. I also made a wellness roller blend that I apply to the bottoms of my feet before putting socks on (yes, I love sleeping in socks!) and it is good especially this time of year. I apply these to my body twice a day, rarely skipping a day. And they are magic!
5. fresh air
One of the ways that I am focusing on loving myself right now is by adding daily time in nature to my daily rhythms. I used to be so good about this, but over the last few years, I've really gotten out of this rhythm. At least 20-30 minutes a day, outside, breathing in the fresh air. Doesn't matter if it's day or night, if the sun accompanies me or the moon and stars. I just need to breathe in fresh air. Nature is the ultimate healer and our souls are filled everytime we step outside to join the earth in her bountiful beauty. Not to mention the world of good it does our minds. When the weather is cooler this time of year, I also make a point to take a stroll around the block. So fresh air it is!
6. rest and relaxation
It is vital that we have times of rest and relaxation. Even if it's just for 30 minutes, our bodies, minds and souls crave this. These moments are not a waste of time, nor are they to be neglected. Many of the ideas here could very well fit under this category of "rest and relaxation"...
7. positive circles
This one is a bit sensitive, but one that I feel to be of utmost importance. And I speak from personal experience.
Protect your peace.
This is something I have experienced firsthand and know all too well what this damage to the mind, heart and soul looks and feels like. With that said, it is so important that we have positive circles around us. People and ideals that are filled with light and beauty and goodness. Beliefs that don't cause us to have to spend years recovering from them. Sometimes you have to step away from that which may be labelled "right" or "good" in order to find what is actually right and good...so that you can find the beautiful. And you do not need to feel guilt from making this change. Let that burden of guilt leave you right away; embrace the goodness and freedom that comes from walking, finally, in a way that brings you good things.
Sometimes the very way you can love yourself is to step away from these people and circles.
This also applies to people around you. If someone is a negative aspect of your life, they must go. Even if you've known them forever. Even if they are regularly in your life. Even if they are family. This is also something I know about in a very personal way. You only need people in your life who are going to respect you, encourage you, uplift you, laugh with you. If they're not adding something positive to your life, it's time to bid them farewell. As I heard on Hannah Montana as a teen, you just go right on and tell them, "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!" And you go on your merry way. It can be hard, it can break relationships forever, it will be an emotional road. But it is worth it. Your peace is worth it. You are worth it.
8. healthy eating
Eating home-cooked healthy meals is about as good as it gets. Especially when you prepare the meal with those you love most. Of course, having treats here and there is fine, too...and even those can be healthy. I'm someone who believes in moderation and everything in balance. I've tried more strict, rigid, and restrictive ways of eating int he past and it doesn't work for me. Making sure to use the best ingredients possible and making mealtime a magical experience with candles, loved ones, conversation, and laughter is important, too.
9. slow days
Having slow days is good for the soul. There are many ideas for this, but one of my personal favorites is my family's soup and bread Sundays. Every Sunday, we have some sort of homemade soup (or stew or chili, etc.) simmering on the stove all evening long...and some sort of homemade bread baking in the oven. Then, after darkness falls outside, we sit down, and feast. It is a wonderfully slow and gentle Sunday and honestly couldn't be more perfect. And oh so fun!
10. unplug
I cannot tell you the goodness I have found since I unplugged from social media a couple years ago. (I still have Instagram but use it totally differently than I did previously.) I knew it would be good for me and have positive benefits but I didn't have any idea just HOW good it would be and how MANY positive benefits I would discover. Honestly, I cannot think of any good thing that comes from social media and would strongly encourage anyone to just delete their accounts (or at the very least, use them as minimally as possible, because I know there are good things there that you may enjoy; I do, but I am very conscious about how I use it now), and move on. You will find LIFE again and so much goodness. This is by far one of the best ways you can love yourself...you won't miss it, trust me!
Also, you don't need your phone attached to you every minute of the day. Honestly, it is quite ridiculous how much some people use their phones. I think they are really only necessary if you are making or taking a phone call or text. If you are using it for some other reason, ask yourself if it is really necessary or a good use of your time. Is it causing you stress or making you ignore those around you? There are times when using your phone to look something up is beneficial and good, but most of people's time spent on their phone is quite absurd if you ask me.
11. avoid the news
I am really trying to get better about this one, because my anxious mind sometimes must know everything that's going on in the world. But it's never good for me. The news is a certain trigger for stress and no one needs to be engaged all the time. You don't need to know everything that's going on in the world at every minute of the day. If there is something going on in the world that you need to know about, you will. Just avoid the news as much as possible; your mind will thank you.
12. meditate and affirmations
These are both somewhat new to me, but I think they are excellent things to implement into your daily rituals. Meditating can be as simple as taking a walk outside in the garden and appreciating the earth and her wisdom and beauty. Or it could also be quietly listening to soothing music whilst washing the dishes or folding laundry. It can be pausing for five minutes to breathe deeply and clear your mind of intrusive thoughts. Repeating affirmations to yourself can be comforting, encouraging and also, well, affirming.
13. trust your intuition
In many circles, we are taught not to trust ourselves and that our hearts will lead us in bad ways. And that, my friend, is simply a lie. A downright, and dangerous, lie. Trusting your intuition and following your heart's leading is so important. Your intuition is a gift you have; trust it, use it, be grateful for it. And your heart is leading you to your destiny. Allow it to guide you along life's journey and be open to its gentle leading. It can take time when you've been told for so long that these things are wrong or bad, but little by little, step by step, you will begin to trust yourself again...like you did when you were a little girl. And bit by bit, your heart will heal from all the lies you've been fed and your heart will begin to feel better. You'll trust it and you'll follow its leading. You will stop doubting yourself and as you are gentle with yourself, that trust will return.
14. take yourself and life less seriously...laugh and have fun
Seriously. Laugh at yourself sometimes. Not sometimes, most of the time. If you make a mistake or are clumsy, just laugh it off. I am quite clumsy and have to laugh at myself often. I am also a total dork so life gives me the opportunity to take myself less seriously often. Laugh as much as possible. And surround yourself with people who love to laugh their butts off...they make life a whole lot more fun and interesting. I think we would all be happier if we just started taking ourselves and life less seriously.
Discover ways to have fun. Us grown-ups can seem to forget what it actually means to have fun. Get rid of any ideas or feelings of being embarrassed by the things that make you happy. One thing I've learned is that the older I get, I am returning to things that I was ashamed to admit that I liked in my teenage years, but that I really, really loved. (And still do!) This past summer, I made a HUGE playlist of tons of songs that I loved as a child and teenager as well as songs that I just love for whatever reason and songs that have a nostalgic feel to me. I can't tell you just how amazingly, awesomely fun it has been to listen to it! And guess what? I LOVE One Direction music. I did as an older teen and young 20-something year old and have ever since, but now I am unashamed to admit it. I will shout from the rooftop without any shame: "I LOVE ONE DIRECTION! AND MERMAIDS! AND HELLO KITTY! AND POOH BEAR! AND I BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS! AND I STILL CAN'T EVER SLEEP WHEN SNOW IS ON THE WAY!" Because they make me endlessly happy. And the same goes with many other things. Find what makes you happy, embrace it without embarrassment, and just have fun!
15. delighting in art
Art in any shape or form is perfect for showing yourself some love. Delighting in a good book or listening to some fun music and dancing, even if you're terrible at it. Watching a favorite movie or show, adding beautiful art pieces to your walls, or whatever it is that you love...fill your life with art. Attend plays and musicals and concerts that inspire and fill you up to overflowing. They literally can't be beaten! Peruse bookshops and art displays. Ask others with similar tastes what they love and get ideas from them. Art is lifegiving and soul-filling and that's what loving yourself is all about.
16. hobbies
Taking the time to invest and enjoy hobbies is also lifegiving and soul-filling. When we take the time to paint, sew, knit or crochet, cook or bake, garden, read, journal, embroider, play music, write, do puzzles, play card or board games, or whatever else it may be, we are investing in something we love. These hobbies are so much more than simply ways we spend time; they are what make us who we are.
17. comfy clothing
One of the ways I love myself is by wearing clothing that I feel comfortable in. I do not spend time worrying about trends or what others are wearing. I wear what I like and what feels good to me. My style is my style and I don't care what others think. I think it's important to wear clothing that you feel good in and that makes you comfortable. Other clothing can make you feel insecure and bad about your body and that's not loving yourself.
18. making a lovely space
In order to thrive and be peaceful, we must be in a space that we find lovely and where we want to be. Making a haven out of your space is crucial. Making it "you" and filling it with things that you cherish or enjoy or simply love because they are beautiful are not only fun, but can also become a hobby, too. Your space, no matter how big or small, should be cozy and warm and comfortable. It should be as homey as can be...you should love being there and when you're not there, you should miss it terribly. This space should be a comfort to your soul.
19. avoiding and decreasing stress
I think it is wise to avoid stress whenever possible. Guard your life and who you allow in, guard your home and who you allow in, guard your mind and who you allow to influence you. Don't be afraid to say NO. You don't owe anyone an explanation for how you live your life. Stop trying to explain yourself to idiots and just walk on. Stress shouldn't be something we seek out and yet too often, by our choices and decisions, it's almost as if we are chasing it down.
20. you are enough, you are perfect, you are beautiful
Remind yourself often that you are enough, you are perfect, and you are beautiful. Just the way you are. No matter what number you see on the scale or the number inside your jeans. No matter your personality or quirks or sensitivities. No matter if you are quiet or outgoing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and you don't need to constantly work on yourself. You are enough just as you are...stop trying to tell yourself otherwise. You aren't too much or too little; you are just right exactly as you are. You are perfect right now, right here in this moment. Tell yourself these things regularly and allow your mind, heart and soul to actually believe it. Stop criticizing yourself...whether it be about your personality, your body or whatever. Start talking kindly to and about yourself...no more negative talk. Start loving yourself today, right now, as you are. Because you, my friend, are enough, you are perfect and you are beautiful. Yes, YOU!
What are some of the daily rituals you enjoy? How do you love yourself? Do share below!
May your week be blissful, dear reader friends!
♥