Slumps. You probably know what I'm talking about. Well, I'm here to share about a slump I've found myself in this year.
2020. What a year, right? It started out nice and slow and just like any other year. Then, in late February, things changed. A worldwide pandemic hit and every continent was shut down and people were being affected in big ways and small. It didn't matter if you were rich or poor, old or young, red or yellow or black or white. It didn't matter if you were a hustle and bustle type of person or if you preferred a slower-paced life. It hit us all, in one way or another...and for some, it hit hard. The news was loud and everyday headlines were coming out faster than I think they could write them, and certainly faster than any average person could keep up. On top of that, there has been some social unrest and a complicated, heavy election at hand as well. Needless to say, 2020 has been one heck of a year. I think it's all going to be one that we don't soon forget and one we will all be recalling stories from fifty years from now.
Anxiety has always, unfortunately, been something that I have known very well. On top of that, being a highly sensitive person with some OCD at times, let's just say I know what it feels like to be down and depressed and overwhelmed with anxiety while at the same time feeling scared and being overcome with a barrage of intrusive thoughts. I wrote a bit about this earlier this year HERE. And all of those things really hinder me at times from being happy and calm and peace-filled. They've also put me in a slump more than once.
Earlier this year, as the things were unravelling in the world and as the news got louder and more rampant, I began to feel myself falling into one of those slumps. I no longer had a desire to even do any of the things that made me who I am and brought me happiness. They became less than desirable and even when I would do them, I just didn't feel happy...the anxious thoughts were still there and the voices were still in my head. Sometimes louder than ever.
Over the summer, I began to ponder these things and came to the realization that I no longer wanted to be in this slump. I declared that enough was enough! In the past, I have been a head-first type person, just delving in all the way, but I've come to learn over time that way doesn't work for me. So this time, I chose a different path. One that was softer and gentler and slower. A path towards reawakening my creativity.
Most of this was done quite mindlessly, as I am a firm believer in things happening organically and naturally, but I was always aware of my thoughts and tendencies. I would notice when I was feeling anxious and how it hindered me from doing something that I enjoyed...for example, cooking. Then I would take notice of what happened when I just stepped forward and got myself in the kitchen and made dinner for my family. Even if I didn't feel it at the start, soon after, those good, happy feelings came back and I began to taste the delight that I always felt whilst cooking. I think that the key to moving forward is not to put too much thought into it...pay attention and take notice and then just let things happen naturally as they may. That's when the magic takes place!
One night in bed I was pondering things and came up with an idea to make cooking fun again for me and something that I enjoyed and loved again...it’s always been more than just fixing food and preparing a meal to me, but a creative outlet, a way to explore and experiment and a way of expressing love for those who I share my life with. I’ve called it The Great Cookbook Adventure of 2020, taking a bit of inspiration from The Great British Bake-Off, and have been slowly finding joy in cooking again ever since I began a few weeks ago. I will share more soon, but I mostly wanted to say that if you’ve felt more anxious and stressed out this year and your creative outlets don’t seem appealing anymore, if you feel dry and like the light within you is dim, I get it. But teeny tiny baby steps and treading softly and gently make a big difference in such a short amount of time...and without you even realizing it. Stick it out. Even when you don’t feel like it, take part in that creative endeavour you love so much; it will give back more than you can imagine and be immensely more lifegiving than you can dream.
Softly and gently. You will get there.
The truth is that slumps will come and they will go. It's kind of the rhythm of life as we humans journey down life's path. But sometimes things, like a worldwide pandemic and loud news headlines and lots of "insufferable know-it-alls" will kind of just make it all worse. I know that's been the case for me this year, and maybe you can relate...whether it be a creative slump, or whatever. We all had to deal with this pandemic and are still dealing with it. We all had to give things up, whether they were big or small or both. There were things we were all looking forward to and they were either very different than imagined or they didn't happen at all. Every single person's mind has been filled with news stories and headlines and loud voices this year, more than usual, and our bodies are just trying to keep up.
Take it easy. Go along softly and gently. Live slowly. Let the magic come how it wants...naturally and organically. Better days are on the way. Spring days will come again. No one person is left out of the equation...beauty is just around the bend and there will be plenty of magical adventures and happiness ahead. One step at a time; one foot in front of the other.
In the meantime, we keep calm and carry on. Knit that scarf. Cook that dinner. Bake that bread. Decorate your home. Pick those flowers. Walk through your garden. Paint that picture. Write that poem. Imagine that story. Read that novel. Watch that movie. Crochet that hat. Sew that quilt. Mend those clothes. Ride that bike. Sketch that landscape. Frost that cake. Pour that tea. Make that bed. Play that instrument. Embroider that cardie. Plant that tree. Hang that wreath. Open those windows. Laugh til you cry and your belly aches. Light those candles. Listen to that music. Dance like you're five years old again. Twirl in the leaves. Jump in that rain puddle. Keep dreaming and planning and hoping and knowing that magic is not gone.
Your heart is being healed as you do all these things, little though they may seem. Let the beauty of it all renew your spirit and fill you again. Let the light within you come to life again and shine brightly. Just let it.
♥