Homemaking is a beautiful aspect of life. And in many ways, life is all about homemaking. Homemaking is literally the making of a home. At first glance, one might think that homemaking is just strictly about cleaning, cooking, and the surface side of things. But, oh, homemaking is much more than that. To create a haven, to nurture souls, to be a life giver, to tend to hearts, to invest in our dear ones, to cultivate a place of love, laughter and beauty, magic, and wonder, to truly make a home...it's so much more than just cooking and cleaning. Though those two things are big parts of it, too, because, let's be honest, we couldn't survive without food and who doesn't love to be in a home that is neat and tidy and cared for?
And today's post is about how the heart of homemaking and the physical tasks meet together.
The physical side of homemaking, such as cleaning and organizing and tidying and the actual taking care of the home, can be overwhelming if we let it. It can sometimes become too much because we get behind, or perhaps because we put too much on our to-do lists.
I am someone who likes things neat and tidy. I'm not a perfectionist...most of the time, but I have learned that I prefer my atmosphere to be clean (enough) and everything in its place and looking cozy and welcoming and inviting. While I may not have a home of my own yet, or have the full responsibility of caring for a home on my own (we believe it's a whole-family effort that makes a home), I have learned a few things over the years and it is my hope to offer you a bit of encouragement in approaching homemaking in a gentle way and setting aside that overwhelming feeling.
Sarah Mae writes that gentle homemaking "is the ability to be gentle and kind with ourselves in the process of making and keeping a home while being gentle and kind to those around us." She also goes on to say that "it is not a clean house that defines good homemaking, but rather a warm, inviting place that is filled with love." And gentle homemaking does just that! It allows you to keep a home without becoming overwhelmed and love and nurture those within that home, along with yourself, at the same time. Gentle homemaking isn't rocket science and there isn't a specific set of do's and don't's that one should follow. Each person's home, life and routines will look different, but I hope to offer some general ideas as well as sharing what works for me and my family.
Gentle homemaking begins in your heart. Firstly, you must let go of all your perfectionist tendencies. This takes time and practice, trust me. But slowly and surely, you can get there. And your life will feel so much more peaceful when you aren't aiming for perfection. Secondly, you must set your heart in the right place. Cleaning doesn't have to be a drudge or boring or miserable task. Quite frankly, it's something that everyone must do, so why not seek to make it fun. However, before that, we must ask ourselves why we are making and keeping this home?
Every single person on earth is called to be a homemaker, regardless of age, gender, or marital status. We must see the purpose, value and privilege that is in the calling of homemaking. When we do so with a cheerful heart, we are showing care and love for our families, with whom we share our lives and homes. Even if you are single and live by yourself, this doesn't change for you. You are being a nurturer and caregiver to yourself, as well as anyone who enters your door. Keeping a tidy and neat home (again, not perfect) and tending to our own spheres with a grateful heart and attitude is like a quiet, beautiful meditation. Loving your home well is also a way you can show love for those you live with and show respect to your home by making sure it is kept nice and made into the sacred haven it was intended to be.
Now for some practical tips and ideas...
I'm one of those weirdos who actually likes cleaning and tidying and organizing things. I've been that way since I was very young. But confession: I do not like cleaning messy spaces. Nor do I want to spend all my time cleaning; there are other things that I want or need to do as well. This is where my gentle homemaking rhythms and routines come in. It is far easier and more pleasant to clean if you keep up with things. It is much easier to get overwhelmed, distracted, or discouraged when you have to basically start from scratch every single time you clean.
In our home, we have found that doing little tasks regularly works far better than doing deep cleaning every time we set about to our tasks. For example, wiping down the bathroom countertops each morning or evening after getting dressed, cleaning the toilet once a week and sweeping the floors every few days is much easier and takes way less time than if you had to give the bathroom a deep clean every time. In reality, things don't really get dirty because you are keeping on top of things.
We have cats in our home and that means one thing: cat hair! So we vacuum or sweep regularly. That means that our staircase gets vacuumed about twice a week and the floors get swept often. Then, as we go about our days, if we walk by a hairball, we pick it up instead of just ignoring it. Another area of the home that gets lots of use is the kitchen. Every night after dinner, we make sure to fill the dishwasher and get it going; the next morning, all that's left is to unload it. Any dishes or pots that need to be hand-washed get done right after dinner and spend the night drying on the countertop. Wiping down the counters and stovetop and table makes for a sparkling kitchen in the morning. And I don't know about you, but I do not like leaving a kitchen dirty or a sink full before bed.
Laundry is one of those things that can be overwhelming, no matter how few people you have in your home. Developing an easy schedule is key. Along with that folding clothes in an order and way that makes sense...sometimes the Kon-Marie way works and other times it doesn't...and yet sometimes, it's just easier to leave somethings unfolded and put in the drawer as is. The biggest thing for me is to actually put my clothes away as soon as they are folded...any not letting them sit on the dresser for days on end.
Making sure that your home is tidy before bed is also another way to keep up with things gently. Putting TV remotes on the coffee table, straightening up any papers or books, folding any blankets on the couch and arranging the pillows and cushions. If there are littles in your home, making sure their toys are in a basket or tucked away before bed is an easy way to keep things neat, especially so you don't step on them in the dark. Ouch!
Redefining "clutter" is also very freeing. It is a trend these days to be a minimalist and have very little in one's home. We are NOT minimalists, and our home has things out and about all the time. Quite honestly, I do not find minimalism cozy nor do I find it inviting. I find it to be quite the opposite...creating a cold, sterile and harsh atmosphere, style and tone. We like color on our walls, decorations on our shelves, books piled on the end tables, blankets on the couch and so on. These things are not "clutter" though the current trends would say otherwise. In reality, what some would call "clutter" is actually just the evidence of a life lived within a home...and dare I say, it makes for one heck of a cozier, more welcoming and warmer haven to be. For me, clutter is simply things like loose papers on the tabletop, mail that hasn't been sorted, or groceries that need to be put away. Clutter is not the things that make up a life and that are used and enjoyed regularly.
Most of this probably isn't anything new, but I want to encourage you to take a look at your homekeeping routines and rhythms. We have learned all of this over several years, and are still learning and exploring and experimenting with different ideas often. Cleaning doesn't have to be this dreaded task. It can actually be fun! As Mary Poppins says, "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun." And that is true for cleaning! We love using cleaners that are natural and smell lovely...turning on music whilst we dust or sweep or tidy the kitchen at night...chatting with each other as we work...keeping it lighthearted...and sometimes I'll even put in a movie to have in the background while I'm doing a big project. Other times, I prefer to just do go about my tasks quietly and just be with my thoughts.
If you were to walk into our home on a random afternoon, you would still find cat hair here and there, dust would still exist and blankets would be out of place on the couch. The coffee table would have cookbooks and paper and my mom's mystery novels on it. The kitchen counters would have dishes and pots on them because, more than likely, we were just cooking or baking something. There would be signs that there is a family who lives here and really, truly uses their home every day. We are not people who just use our home as a pitstop on the way to and from activities all day and night long. But you would also find a welcome, inviting atmosphere. Candles would be lit, or the diffuser would be going, and some wonderful scents would be filling the air. Kitties would come and greet you and want you to pet them. You would find something to munch on and a cup of tea or glass of lemonade offered to you. I do not say this to boast, but it's just the kind of home I know.
We want our home to be, most of all, a place where we love to be. And a place where we can welcome in friends and visitors for a casual, gentle time together. We aren't fancy people and our home isn't fancy in the least. It's homey and warm and cozy and that's just how we like it. It's not perfectly clean ever, but we want to keep it nice and tidy. We don't overanalyze our methods or hyperventilate if we skip a few days or tasks here or there. There is always tomorrow and it if fresh and brand new and without mistakes...a new beginning and an opportunity to start again every dawn.
The key to gentle homemaking is to have a heart for your home and family, to see purpose in the four walls of your home and to be grateful for the gifts you've been given.
Bless you, dear ones!
♥