What sweet delight a quiet life affords.
·William Drummond·
The above words came to me in a beautiful blog post from a favorite writer of mine several years ago. Immediately upon reading them, I realized that they said outwardly what I think, know and believe inwardly. It was a lovely moment....sometimes others say what's in your heart better than you ever could. And upon discovering words like that, you are blessed indeed.
I am thankful to have grown up before the whole technology age consumed every person's every thought. My childhood consisted of pretending, imagining, and playing make-believe. My sister and I would spend every afternoon playing outside with our friends until the sun set, dinner was ready, and homework had to be done. Despite the fact that I spent seven hours at school each and every day, I would come home only to go into my room and play school for hours on end teaching imaginary students, though if I was lucky I could sometimes get my sister or a friend to play along.
My mom didn't force my sister and me to grow up too fast. She didn't rush our childhood but rather allowed us to be children. I played house and with dolls until I was almost twelve years old. We had an old laundry hamper that held bits of this and pieces of that, random things from around the house that gave us (and our friends) many, many hours of crafting and creating. We made things out of toilet paper rolls, pipe cleaners, old plastic juice cans, and all kinds of weird things that sparked imagination within each of us.
I just so happened to be in first grade in the year 2000, the new millennium. At that time, our elementary school didn't have many computers; most classrooms just had one in total. However, because technology was beginning to really evolve, one classroom per grade was given a computer for each student. (The other classes used the computer lab that was available for the entire school.) My first-grade classroom was the chosen one because my teacher had a great deal of knowledge in that area. I learned so much about computers that year, and as I got older and progressed into each grade year after year, my familiarity with the internet and getting accustomed to using it grew immensely.
Families were beginning to add computers (the big boxy ones) to their homes. We got an old model from my dad's work for free and it was set up in our house. However, it had no internet. We simply used it for playing games on CD that we got from Santa at Christmas. Once my sister and I were older, I was around nine years old, every so often, my mom would take us after school to use the internet at the library. There, we would play games through Disney Channel. I vividly remember painting Lizzie McGuire's nails and picking out her clothes on a couple of the games. As I moved into the fifth and sixth grade, we would also use the library's computer so I could do research for school papers and projects. That is if I couldn't find my information in an encyclopedia first.
Our family didn't get internet installed into our home until I was twelve years old. The year was 2007.
I share that little backstory simply to say that we have always lived a quieter life than most folks we know. We were the last to get the internet in our family. My sister and I were the last children in our extended families to have had a true childhood, one that is not sped up or pushed along. We have toddlers in our family who watch shows that are meant for teenagers and they know all about the woes of dating and mature topics at the age of three. Their parents say that they outgrew their baby dolls and Lego's as soon as they hit age two. These children receive iPads for Christmas at the age of four. Little girls are mistaken as thirteen-year-olds when they are but five years old. (I'm not making that up, either!)
Our life was quiet and simple.
I rarely go a week without hearing, either online or in person, how someone wishes their life were simpler. They wonder when life got so chaotic, noisy and complicated. They are dumbfounded by these things, and because of the life my family and I have chosen to live, it is crystal clear to me.
People admit to being addicted to their phones. There isn't anything that's not done on a screen...communicating, reading, ordering groceries, you name it. I honestly cannot relate or even begin to understand people who deal with these thoughts and troubles.
Today I would like to share some simple ideas as to how to live a quiet life. My belief is that just because everyone is doing things the techy, modern way, doesn't mean that it's good, healthy, or adding to their life. In fact, I would say that most of this way of living in such a techy, modern way is the opposite of those things listed in the prior sentence. The ideas listed are things that my family actually does, and I believe that these choices have benefitted us more than we even know. However, these are simply the ideas of my family and if you do something differently, that's perfectly fine too. I do encourage you to ponder these ideas and perhaps even adopt a variation of one or more of them for yourself. Some of these ideas are small and super simple, yet others take more diligence and discipline to actually live out.
We do have smartphones. However, they do not run our lives.
We were late in the game getting smartphones. It wasn't until 2019 that we added them to our lives. Up until that point, we used pay-as-you-go phones, and at that time, we still had a home phone and answering machine. Yes, it was old school, but it was marvelous!
In 2019, for various reasons, it made sense for us to get smartphones. However, in the past four years that we've had them, I can say that they do not run our lives. People are so used to their phones being an extension of their hand. They are almost permanently connected to their body. And they are nothing short of obsessed with them.
Certain conscious choices we made make it so that we can have smartphones without them running our lives...or, shall I say, ruining our lives. It's not about hard-fast rules or anything like that. Really, it's living as though our phones are still a landline home phone and not having them attached to our fingertips at all times. I do not carry my phone everywhere I go. It does not live in my back pocket. If I'm out, it's with me. If I'm at home, it's on the table in our living room. I do not want my phone running my life. There is a ton more I could say about this, as I have many strong opinions on this topic. But that is truly a topic all it's own.
But the main point I want to make is that just because you have a smartphone, and just because everyone seems to use them in one way...in a way that is incredibly unhealthy, obsessive, and addictive...that does NOT mean you have to. And the fact that in this day and age certain things are normal astounds me. Children using smartphones and knowing how? Kids way too young owning their own smartphones and smart devices? People upgrading their phones every single time a new version comes out? Not being able to go in a restaurant or cafe or coffee shop and nearly everyone being on their devices, even when sitting at a table with others? People keeping their whole lives on their phones and other devices? People taking into their watches? Folks talking to a device and calling her by name and asking her the weather forecast or some other question? Homes being wired with all kinds of devices? The fact that saying "no" to these things is weird and ridiculed and mocked? Yeah, that's absurd!
I have a laptop computer that I use for entertainment as well as my blogging. But, other than that, I do not have any internet devices. My phone obviously has access to the internet, but I try to use it sparingly. When we go grocery shopping, eat at a restaurant or anything along those lines, we are the rare sight of people actually connecting with one another. I find it so sad to see families and couples and groups of friends sitting at a table to share a meal with all their heads down looking at some sort of device. You can't even go into a waiting room at the doctor's office and see one person reading a book or magazine anymore. I consider it a blessing to be at a restaurant with my family and actually talk with them. Though I must say it can feel quite weird being the odd one out with a real book in hand while in a waiting room or anywhere for that matter. (I was delighted to see a fellow physical-book-reader at the car care center while we were waiting for our oil to be changed a few weeks ago. I do not remember the last time I saw a fellow physical-book-reader!)
Because we do not have 24/7 access to the world-wide-web in our back pocket, we do not have trouble with being on the Internet all the time. I am very serious and conscious and opinionated about this. I go on the internet for a few minutes before I get dressed for the day. I check the news, weather, emails, etc. Then I spent a bit of time online before bed, watching my shows, blogging, catching up on a couple YouTube channels I subscribe to. I also check the news again, weather, emails, etc. Other than that, I may go online for a few minutes here or there during the day, usually for a specific purpose, (I'm confident that scrolling for the sake of scrolling is anything but healthy and good) but I do not want to be consumed by the online world. I learned a couple years ago that I do not need to check the news more than twice a day, anything else causes severe anxiety for me. And I can honestly say that on days when I am on the internet more than others, my anxiety goes up through the roof. And often, I take longer breaks from the online world, not going online at all for sometimes a week at a time. (Except for checking emails, daily weather forecasts and the news.)
I personally believing in having as few electronic devices as possible. We use nothing "smart" (other than our phones and TVs with streaming services) or any AI in our home. Our phones are minimal. We have TVs and laptops and that's literally it. I refuse to let my life be dictated by a device or some voice coming from a watch or speaker, and I refuse to speak to a robotic AI voice when I could simply look up the answer to my question myself. I refuse to have my life be run by dings and chimes and buzzes. I do not believe that just because I'm living in the 21st century and everyone is doing something, I have to as well. I can think for myself, thankyouverymuch.
We read real books.
I am really adamant about reading real books only. To think of all the bookstores closing and our world turning into a download-only place makes me so sad and heartbroken. There isn't a grand reason as to why we choose real books over Nooks or Kindles, but one reason is that I don't like the idea of staring at a screen for every single thing I do. I find that completely absurd and ridiculous. Besides that, have you ever taken a good sniff of a book....especially old ones. Oh, my, do they smell delightful! And to feel the pages between your fingers and to fold down the corner of the page when you're done with that chapter....there's nothing like it.
I still buy CDs.
Music is one of my great loves. But I don't do the whole iTunes, downloading thing. I love having a real, physical CD that I can stick into the car player and hit "play". Just another thing to add to living a quiet life.
I use a real camera when taking pictures.
I'm the girl at the concert or standing beneath a waterfall or crouching low in the flowers taking pictures with a real camera. I have been the only one at a concert not using my phone to capture the moments unfolding before my eyes. Though, I do feel more comfortable using my phone in some settings, it's not the norm for me. That can be very uncomfortable at times, especially for an introverted person such as myself. There's something great and beautiful about the art of photography that is completely gone when using a phone as opposed to an actual camera. Up until just two years ago, I had a simple point-and-shoot pink digital camera. I used that thing all the time and still have it in my bag, but nowadays my DSLR camera goes practically everywhere with me. In fact, when buying a new purse, I purposely make sure it is large enough to carry my camera. Capturing beauty requires slowing down, pausing, observing, admiring, and soaking in and savoring the moment. In my opinion, a real camera is the only tool that encourages those things.
The outdoors is our sanctuary.
It is such a rare occurrence to see folks outside just "shooting the breeze" as my Grandpa would say. For us, however, it is an odd day when we haven't gone outside to walk around the yard, sit under the tree, and just chat about life and everything under the sun. Again, real talking, face to face. It's a good thing. I firmly believe that time in nature is a must for healthy living....I'm pretty sure studies have proven that.
Sometimes we go on afternoon drives through the country.
Or head downtown to see the river. In fact, this happens quite regularly around here. We will all gather in the car, pack some drinks or snacks (sometimes we'll get a treat out), and head out for an afternoon adventure. My Grandpa was known for his love of rides. He loved "to take a cruise" as he would put it. My mom says that she grew up in the backseat of her family car, going for rides each weekend all around New Jersey. This is one of the simplest, yet most impactful, family activities you can do. And you never outgrow it, either! In fact the older you get, the more you appreciate it.
Home-cooked meals are the norm.
Sitting around the table, enjoying a meal, and lingering there long after the last dish has been cleared and put in the dishwasher, just laughing and talking is something that really needs to be revived in America. I don't know about other countries, but here in the States, family dinners which were once the norm are now on the "going extinct" list. And the consequences are sad and damaging, to say the least. I am of the very firm belief (I'm incredibly stubborn about this!) that home-cooking, gathering around the table, conversing and sharing is of utmost importance. Sometimes eating dinner on the couch while watching a movie is fun, too, though eating in front of the TV should be the exception, not the rule.
Home is where our hearts are.
Growing up, my sister and I did not have after-school activities. We weren't involved in sports, not because our parents didn't allow it, but rather because we had zero interest in them. (I am quite possibly the least athletic person you will ever meet.) My mom really instilled in us a love for home and family and we continue to live that out, the three of us, daily. Most of our days are spent at home doing home things. They are ordinary days, but sweet ones. We do get out regularly, doing things we enjoy and getting errands accomplished, but you can't have a heart for the home if you're never there. (I'm writing a full post on this topic soon.) We aren't constantly going here and there, and our lives are not busy. The world may glorify the busy way of living, but there aren't many, if any, benefits of that sort of living.
William Drummond was right, indeed, when he said that a quiet life is full of such sweet delight. These are just a few of the ways that my family and I have chosen to go against the norm of fast-paced, noisy, complex living, and embrace a lifestyle of slow living that is simple, meaningful, and close-knit to our family and others, nature and all that is good and beautiful.
Again, I did not write this post to dish out a serving of guilt upon you, but rather to encourage and inspire you that it is possible to live a slow, simple and meaningful life in a world that promotes and glorifies living a chaotic, complex and noisy one.
I would love to hear some of the ways that you live a quiet and simple life. Do share below...let's inspire on another!