Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?"
~ Brene Brown ~
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I began my blogging journey just under ten years ago, and my, how blogging has changed in that time. What was once a sweet community of kindred spirits sharing similar interests, values and hobbies, has now turned into something vastly different. Whereas bloggers used to post regularly and authentically, now blogs have become nothing more than a nonstop commercialization and effort to make a buck. People used to comment and there would be actual conversations in the comment sections and it was absolutely lifegiving and delightful. Now barely a soul reads anymore and even fewer comment. Where I once read a dozen blogs myself, now I read literally zero. A few of my favorite writers no longer blog, a few have deeply hurt me in one way or another, and a few have become nothing more than announcement forums, sharing only to get a pat on the back or a congratulations for what is going on in their life, without any other content (or very little, at the most) on their blogs. And yet, others I've stopped reading because I've greatly changed over the course of this past decade and I realized that certain ones were toxic and full of bullshit. Either way, blogging just simply isn't what it used to be. And in many ways, that makes me sad.
Online sharing has become such a norm that it is often perplexing to learn of someone who isn't sharing their every move or thought online somewhere. And yet, I have learned over the past while just how much a private life equals a peaceful life. I have had some positive experiences online but I have had my share of negative trolls and really, just shitty people, harassing me, mocking me, and abusing me online. Aside from any personal attacks that I may have experienced, I have also witnessed the fakeness, double-standard-living and hypocrisy from people who I was always taught to believe to be "the salt of the earth", God-fearing folks, and those seeking to be the "city on the hill". In reality, they are some of the most horrid people out there and that's just the God-honest truth.
With all of that said, as I have changed a great deal over the last few years, some of the things I once wrote about, I no longer hold to. And the things I still hold dear, I now value and believe for vastly different reasons than I did before. What I once believed, I don't anymore. The topics I hold dear to my heart and feel very passionately about are topics that are quite unconventional, and therefore, often result in a slew of negative responses from nasty people. In order to protect myself, I don't share about those things anymore. And a bunch of my older posts no longer exist because they no longer represent me or my beliefs.
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Offline is peace of mind.
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Living in the twenty-first century, one cannot escape the use of modern technology. There are certainly benefits and many good aspects of it, but there are a lot of curses about it, too. Children, for one, are being exploited every minute of every single day...by their parents. Parents are using their children to make them money on social media, blogs and videos. Children are put out there to "entertain" people when instead they should just be playing and using their imaginations and simply being children. Children have absolutely no place on the internet and parents need to get some damn sense about them and start protecting and cherishing their children for who they are and not what they are or what they can produce...more viewers, more subscribers, more followers, more comments, etc. All in the pursuit of more money! Children are exploited from the moment they are conceived, and many long before. Every detail of their lives (birth story, conception story, potty-training stories all the way through the ups and downs of puberty, etc. included) is online for complete and total strangers to read or watch. And that is atrocious! Babies have not a moment of peace and freedom because their lives are shared from the instant parents learn about their existence in the womb. It is beyond disgusting. Not only that, but it's high time folks realized that every human being, including babies, deserve respect. It is not the parents' place to share every detail of their child's life with others. That is their story to tell when, how, and if they so desire once they are old enough. Too many parents are obsessed with their online presence that they neglect their children...again, all for a buck or more followers or whatever they think is so damn important. More important than their children.
No, I do not have children of my own yet, but this is something that I believe anyone with an ounce of decency about them will have a passionate opinion on. And it is just one reason why I left the social media world last year and haven't looked back for one second. (I had to get those thoughts off my chest because this is something that truly breaks my heart and sickens me. And over the last eighteen months, I've seen a number of ladies leave the internet for these exact same reasons. It is clear that people are realizing the absurdity of children being all over the internet.) Photos, videos, and any other content of children have absolutely NO place on the internet. And the things I mentioned here don't even begin to touch on the safety aspect of posting photos of children online.
I have always been a private person and even in this past decade of blogging, most of my life has gone undocumented and kept private. But I feel the need and desire for complete privacy...with the least amount of time online as I can manage. I want a private, peaceful life, and that means less time online.
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Be mindful, extremely selective, and very intentional about the people you allow in your life. Not enough people are talking about how life-altering this is.
~ S. McNutt ~
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It's probably been quite obvious that over the last eighteen months I've mentioned similar feelings on my blog numerous times. I've often wondered if it was time to say goodbye to blogging for good, but in the end, I never feel quite ready to close that door completely. However, you have probably noticed that the frequency of my posts have become much fewer and farther between than they used to be. Back several years ago, I was sharing three times a week...at least. And I shared photos of myself and my family, which I now refrain from completely. I never was one to share tons of stuff about my personal life, because I never felt comfortable with sharing such things online. But I would share about our travels and close-to-home adventures we'd go on as well as holidays and birthdays and such.
Sharing things online really makes me scratch my head and wonder what the point of it all is. The more I ponder social media the more insane, pointless, and downright stupid it seems to me. The idea of sharing photos of yourself, what you're doing, your family, etc. with complete strangers and then allowing them to speak into your life and potentially tear your down for your lifestyle or whatever is ridiculous. And as I mentioned above, the absolute exploitation of children on social media is atrocious. Parents ought to be ashamed of themselves!
So...a private life, a peaceful life. What does that look like for someone who has been blogging for almost a decade? I don't know entirely. I'm playing around here and there with what I feel comfortable with. For now, what I'm comfortable with is occasionally sharing a lovely poem or quote, or a book list, or perhaps a recipe. Those things are delightful to share and add beauty to the dark online world, and yet don't intrude on any privacy I feel so strongly about having in my life. However, at some point, that may change, not because sharing things along those lines isn't good or okay, but simply because I may wish to not be online at all. Ten years of blogging can really weigh a person down, especially when you've received some of the nasty comments and rude emails as I have. Not to mention the complete change of atmosphere in the blogging community. And, I must say, when I taste the sweet freedom and quietness of life that I do on my breaks from the internet, I realize just how magical life is all over again. How many things I get to do and try and learn about without any pressure from blogging or sharing online. And I remember the peacefulness of a life lived offline.
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A private life is a peaceful life.
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I know this was a ranty, rambly post, but honestly, these words have been begging me to write them for a long time. I don't know what the future of this blog will look like, but for now, I'm sticking around and will continue to occasionally share things that delight me. But a quiet, peaceful life must take priority, so sharing in this space will only happen in ways that don't compromise my standards of living peacefully.
Thank you for reading, as always. May your week be beautiful!
