{from my archives}
Busyness is a modern-day curse. And yet so many people are chasing after it with everything they have. I find this ironic since they're complaining the entire time they're on this rat race. Regardless of whether or not they actually truly want what's on the other end of that race, they are going full speed ahead. And here I am just watching them making fools of themselves. (With perhaps a little snicker under my throat, if we're being honest.)
Being born in the mid-'90s, most of my youth was before technology took over. To give you a bit of background into my life...
I went to public elementary school and one year at a private church school. When I was twelve, my mom began homeschooling my younger sister and me and continued on until our school careers ended. Growing up, my sister and I would come home from school, get a snack inside and watch TV for maybe thirty minutes. Then we went outside for the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening...coming in for dinnertime or when it got dark, whichever came first. We'd play with neighborhood friends or with friends we'd invited over after school. Our games consisted of pretty much anything you can imagine. We made up all sorts of games and things to do, always using our imaginations to their fullest. We'd ride bikes and scooters, play basketball in the driveway, draw with sidewalk chalk, roller skate, run in the sprinkler on hot summer days, push our baby dolls around in strollers, play drive-thru in the garage, and swing for hours on the swingset. This was what made up our days and the weekends were no different, except for the fact that we did this all day and not just after school hours. This isn’t to say we never went places. The library, local parks, children’s museums, movie theater days and roller skating afternoons in the summer, etc. were regular parts of our life. We also enjoyed family vacations and plenty of weekend drives to explore places in and near our own city. But it was all done in a casual and fun way. We weren’t hustling and bustling here and there.
We were normal kids and grew up in a normal home with TV and computer games (the internet didn't come into our home until 2007). However, these things didn't consume us. Really, we only engaged in electronic activities in the evenings and before bed or when we couldn't get outside because it was downpouring rain or whatever. We didn't really even let the weather get in the way, we just dressed appropriately and went outside and had fun anyway. On snowy days, we would go through the back gate in our yard to the forest behind our house and explore our very own "Narnia".
My mom raised us in such a way that preserved our childhood and allowed us to have a real, true childhood. She decided early on that she didn't want us to spend our youth in the backseat of a car driving from one activity to the next. We had dinner at home every night when most of our friends ate take-out in their cars on the way to their endless activities. She made conscious choices so we didn't have to sacrifice our childhood. I tried a couple afterschool activities at different times as I got a bit older, but they didn't suit me for one reason or another. And looking back, I was glad they didn't. My mom had watched how other mothers were raising their children, with large poster-sized calendars on the fridge to keep all their daily activities in order. And several of the kids I knew would spent their weekends going from one sleepover to another, not even stopping at home in between and not sleeping in their own home all weekend long. She didn't want that, and I'm thankful she didn't.
Instead, she allowed us a slow, real, fun, magical childhood. We were given ample time to play, explore and have fun in all kinds of ways. We were given the gift of a real home life, not just seeing home as a place to eat, sleep and stop at when you go from one place to another. We had the blessing of dinner at home every night with both parents and our dog. It wasn't fancy or anything most would call special, but to us, it was everything. And it still is. Even though my sister and I are now well into our twenties, we have both chosen to live at home and all these things are still things we delight in on a daily basis. We've seen the rat race and didn't want that for ourselves. We have seen that what is at the other end of that race isn't something beautiful or lifegiving or abundant, but rather, a dissatisfied, frustrated, and shallow way of living.
Busyness comes in many different ways. As harsh as it may sound, I have little sympathy for those who are continuously running on that rat race like a hamster on its spinning wheel. They complain and act as if there is no way out. They are miserable and yet they proclaim regularly how they "have to live this way because everyone is doing it". People are only as busy as they allow themselves to be. There is a way out and you have to step off that spinning wheel and choose something else. It's not hard or rocket science and yet people do NOT want to give up this lifestyle for anything. To live in a more meaningful way seems small to them. It seems ridiculous and like they're going back in time.
The opposite of busy living is gentle living. And we've actually had people call us "sick" and harass us beyond anything anyone would even believe (people who are related to us, no less), all because we choose to live differently than the rest of the world.
We believe home is much more than a place to just eat take-out every night if you're not eating it in the car, and a place to change clothes and get a few hours sleep each night. It's more than a pit stop along life's way. Home is to be a haven, a safe place, a refuge, and really, it's meant to be our anchor. The family are people we're meant to actually do life with and not just see for a few hours in the evening while we're all staring at our own devices. People’s jobs are meant to be just that...jobs. Our true meaning, calling, purpose and value are to be found within those four walls with those people we call "ours". This is true for men and women alike, single or married, old or young. Children aren't meant to grow up in fast ways with their parents speeding up their growth process by either allowing them to engage in too many activities and being on the go too much or by not allowing them to engage in playtime, using their imaginations and just having fun as they wish, or all of the above. We believe this and so much more. And being completely honest with you, we are the only ones we know living like this. We know many through online connections, but in person, everyone is following the world’s ideals of go, go, go. (And here I am, hoping and dreaming and trusting that there is a good, honorable, gentle, unconventional-thinking, a non-toxic masculinity sort of man to share my life with who believes these things, too.)
Gentle living isn't perhaps the most popular way of living, but I can assure you it is the best. There's not a formula to follow, but rather little practices to put in place. It's little choices that make big differences and small steps that make huge impacts on the lives of you and your family. Busyness is a curse that wise people aren't foolish enough to get involved in. Gentle living may mean walking away from the norm of society. It might mean you say no to a lot of things only to say yes to things much more meaningful. It doesn't mean you live like you're on the prairie with no modern-day conveniences or enjoy electronic devices. But you know their place and they don't consume your every moment. Gentle living isn't about extremism, but rather about a meaningful way of living...a way that is lifegiving, nourishing, nurturing for all. It's men and women and children coming together and growing a beautiful life as a family in a home that means so much. It's about knowing the secrets to a rich, abundant life, which far too many are missing out on. It's not chasing this or that latest thing or climbing the corporate ladder or trying to keep up with the Joneses. It's chasing after what's truly important in life and enjoying life's beautiful ordinary days with those you love best.
And that, my dear friends, is a truly happy life.
Until next week, be blessed and love life's ordinary moments...
there's abundant beauty there if you are willing to taste and see.
♥