{{ before summer ends, I wanted to share a bit of floral beauty...these blooms were from my birthday flowers back in late July...oh, how much delight they brought me! and are continuing to bring me as I dried a bunch of them and now have several small bouquets of dried blooms in my room...lasting beauty. }}
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outside my window
There are still colors and shades of summer all around. The leaves on trees, while still green, are not as lush as they are in the middle of summer. Perhaps that's because our summer was excruciatingly hot and we had very little rain for so long, or perhaps it's a little sign that autumn is on the way. I have noticed that some leaves are just barely beginning to show hints of red or gold on them, including a few on a tree over our driveway. We are starting to have little tastes of autumn in the air and it is the most delightful thing. Some days, you can literally smell autumn slowly approaching and it just makes me so happy. I'm looking forward to a change of season this year, for more than one reason.
musical treasures
I honestly haven't listened to barely any music at all this summer. I just wasn't in the mood.
bookish ramblings
With the absolute craziness and insane busyness of the last three months, I have not done very much reading. Given the heaviness of my dad's diagnosis, I really didn't think I'd read anything at all during such a stressful time. However, and very thankfully, I found comfort within the pages of two books. Both written by an author who I adore, Susan Branch. I completed her memoir and travel diary of her time in the English countryside entitled, A Fine Romance and fell in love with her writing and enchanting way of telling stories and recapturing memories through both words and her gorgeous paintings. Then I began (and am still working on) her newest release, a book of quotes and paintings, entitled Distilled Genius. I am about halfway through it so far and yes, I've already found my favorite chapters and new quotes to love. Because these books are just so darn beautiful and have become dear to me, especially being such gentle companions during a tumultuous time, I want to write a post about each one. They're just that special and each deserve their own spotlight.
in the world of TV & movies
During the week in between my dad's death and his memorial service, I had trouble sleeping, so I would just stay up as late as I wanted, until I was literally exhausted and couldn't keep my eyes open for one second longer. And during those nights, I watched all three Hobbit movies. Oh, my friends! What have I been missing! I fell in love, with the Shire, with Hobbit ways and habits, with the way Hobbit houses are made of "good food, a warm hearth and all the comforts of home" (be still my heart!), with the adventures of Bilbo and the Dwarves and Gandalf, with the wisdom in the story, with the magical and cozy vibes, with the way I was sweating from wanting to know what's going to happen next, to literally smiling and cheering them on just minutes later. Oh, it was exactly what I needed those nights...and now I'm on my way to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy next. I have a feeling it's going to be just my cup of tea.
a grateful heart
I'm grateful for a last summer with my dad in the comforts of our home together as a family, getting to care for him and be there through everything all together...even, perhaps especially, at the end. I'm grateful for some funny moments during those last weeks, even though we were literally watching him slip away from us bit by bit during those last couple weeks. I remember realizing that I'd had my last "normal" conversation with him (a bit after it took place) because he could no longer make sense when talking. Watching him go from being someone who always helped those who were weak and couldn't get around on their own, to him being in that place himself was horrendous to witness.
I'm grateful for rainy days and cooler nights and the anticipation that autumn is on the way. I'm grateful for trying new recipes and getting back into a normal cooking rhythm after weeks of quick/semi-homemade cooking. I'm grateful for doing little home projects and the tiny steps taken each day to find our new normal, even though they are mingled with emotions and sometimes the feeling of just wanting to feel "normal" again, but not really knowing what that feels like anymore...especially when your world was so not normal for several months. I'm just grateful for little ordinary moments that feel normal. And I'm grateful for laughter and staying up late with my mom and sister and playing cards and being in the kitchen together...just regular things.
from my kitchen
We are just starting to get back to a normal cooking routine. During the past three months, we ate lots of quick meals and so it's nice to have fully homecooked meals again. For Labor Day, I made a vegan strawberry blueberry icebox cake, which is a favorite of ours and one that we haven't had in probably five years. It is the perfect way to bid farewell to summer before we start with the pumpkin, apple and spice-filled goodies of autumn. {{smiles}}
fashionable fun
A black floral just-above-the-knee dress. The perfect end-of-summer, almost-autumn dress with sunflowery floral designs on a black background. And sandals, always sandals in the summertime.
home & hearth
There are just little home projects that we are working on...organization projects (some big and some small), moving furniture, and also...we decorated our home for autumn this week. I even pulled out the decorations for my bedroom...they are bringing us much delight. {{smiles}} I always love seeing those warm colors and cute decorations make their yearly debut.
a few of my favorite things
♥ Alba's oil-free facial moisturizer...it is literally heavenly. It works like a charm and the scent is delicious! A new-to-me find that I'm absolutely loving.
♥ the newest season of Chesapeake Shores
♥ watching videos on a few favorite creative YouTube channels
for the love of words
"My favorite words are silently spoken by mother nature. She reveals her secrets in the mist. She whispers words of encouragement through the rain. She screams words of strength on the wind. She brings hope to our days when the sun meets her in the early morning. And she paints a picture of love in the sky during the sunset. These stories are the real ancient legends, and they will tell you everything you need to know if you are willing to listen."
(@nabalo)
crafting & creating
I haven't done any sort of creative project in months now...hopefully, with the chilly weather coming, it will inspire me to get to work on some fun projects. Goodness knows, I've always got a hundred things I want to make!
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Dearest friends...
I wanted to take a moment at the end of this post and thank you for the kindest words and messages I received about my dad's passing. You can't begin to know how encouraging they were to me as I read each one. This Sunday, the 18th, marks one month of him being gone. We had his memorial service, or "celebration of life" as he insisted it be called, a couple weeks ago. He told us in the weeks prior to his death exactly what he wanted...nothing somber or too serious or depressing. He wanted laughter and smiles and stories of his life told as a celebration, and that's just what we did. Our lives were completely turned upside down and inside out within a six-week period. His decline went much more rapidly than we anticipated. He was "officially" sick (with a proper diagnosis) for 6 weeks before his passing, but in total, everything took place over the course of just three months. Everything still feels strange...like somehow, we're just waiting for him to come home from work or something. It all seems so surreal still, like an out-of-body experience.
In the span of those weeks, a lot went down...lots of scary moments, two hospital stays, several doctors' visits and procedures, nurses coming into our home every few days, conversations that I'd never imagine we'd have as a family, him losing over 50 pounds in just over a month, us staying up literally 24 hours a day to care for him and just catnapping here and there when we could, and just about no bit of normalcy. Time will help us in finding a new normal and getting adjusted to the way things are now. Our house is a lot quieter without my dad here...he was a loud person. Ha! He couldn't do anything quietly! So it all just feels weird. Really, really weird.
Before I end this post, I thought I would share the poem we chose for his memorial service. I came across it online and it just felt perfect. Everything he said to us in the weeks before his death seemed to be summed up in these words...if you've lost someone you love, too, I hope they are a comfort to you as much as they are to us.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
"Feel No Guilt in Laughter"
Author Unknown
Feel no guilt in laughter, he'd know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that he is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to.
He'd hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings him back as clearly as though he were still here,
And fills you with the feeling that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And he will live forever locked safely within your heart.